Sochi 2014

"Mommy can ice skate, you know."

"That's because you are from Wisconsin!" 

ABC Mouse

"Mommy, hand me your phone. It brings learning to life." 

Too Much Baggage

"Mommy, that suitcase is a 42, and you are just 39." 

Hard Times

Dear Isabella, 

Here we go again...another sad time for us.  I'm learning that we can't avoid sad stuff --- we can only control how we handle it.  I feel like we're doing okay, considering. 

Papa taught me a lot of things: the value of hard work, how to be funny, and how to get back up when life knocks you down.  The most important value he taught me though is how to be strong.  And if he can see me, I think he'd be really proud.  I planned a memorial service, wrote and delivered his tribute without shedding a tear, and helped Gramy tie up a lot of loose ends. It's hard. Really hard, and I think about him and how he'd be proud of me for being tough, and I can carry on. 

Papa was not only a great papa, he was the best dad. He taught us so much, but he also celebrated our differences.  I had a very happy childhood and always knew I was loved. 

I miss Papa, and I'm 99% sure we were good, but there were so many things I wish I had said or done.  I wish I had visited more often. I should have spent more time talking to him at Christmas, and I wish I had just sat and watched TV with him with my head on his shoulder.  

So here's my lesson for you: Tell people you love them. Visit often and live in the moment.  Life can change so quickly. 

I love you so, so much.  

Goodbye Papa

We are heartbroken. 

Papa

Papa is sick. Very sick. He had a heart attack on your birthday and he went to the hospital in Oshkosh. Right after your birthday party, he was airlifted to Milwaukee so he could go to St. Luke.  We are all scared and praying. You sent him a rubber duck dressed like a knight to cheer him up.  I hope he likes it. 

Going through all if this had been really hard. I'm crying for my daddy and trying to smile and throw you a happy birthday.  It's agonizing at times, but that's how life is. It takes painful lows to help us savor the sweet simple moments of like.  As you danced and sang into your pink plastic microphone last night, I felt such intense joy in spite of all of fear I have about losing my daddy. When I watched you play with Daddy last night, I didn't feel sad. I felt an intense comfort.  My relationship with my daddy is real and special, just like yours.  And like you, I want him in my life for a long, long time. 

2014

Today we spent the whole day in your craft room making birthday party invitations -- I love days like this.  I love you.  I'm excited about a new year with you.